Susan Jeffers - Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

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Chapter 1. What are you afraid of.. and why?

At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can't handle whatever life may bring you.

All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way!

Chapter 2. Can you make it go away?

Truth 1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
Truth 2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.

Uwaga na When/then game -> "When I feel better about myself.. then I'll do it" - teraz!

Truth 3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out.. and do it.
Truth 4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
Truth 5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

Retrain your thinking -> say the Fear Thruths at least ten times a day for the next month.

Chapter 3. From pain to power.

If everybody feels fear when approaching something totally new in life, yet so many are out there "doing it", despite the fear, then we must conclude that fear is not the problem.

It's how we hold the fear - from the position of power vs. position of pain.

Jeżeli koncepcja 'power' kłóci się z Twoją kobiecością (lol ale pisze to też dla was) to powtarzaj po 25 razy 3 razy dziennie:

I am powerful and I am loved.
I am powerful and I am loving.
I am powerful and I love it!

Narysuj wykres: pain -->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> power, zaznacz na nim swoją pozycję i graj w grę na której przesuwasz się w stronę power. Play with life instead of fight it.

Angels fly because they take themselves lightly. Zmień słownictwo -> I hope vs. I know, I can't vs. I won't. Powiększaj strefy w których czujesz się bezpiecznie.

Chapter 4. Whether you want it or not.. it's yours.

You can create your misery and you can also create your own joy.
Wystarczy brać odpowiedzialność za swoje życie:

1. Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having or feeling.

2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.

You have always done the best you possibly could, given the person you were at any particular time.

3. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are not taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.

Np jeżeli oczekujesz że ktoś inny Cię uszczęśliwi to nie bierzesz odpowiedzialności.

"There is really only one person in the world who can make me happy, and that is ME!"

Inne wskazówki nie brania odpowiedzialności: anger, upset, addiction, envy, disappointment, jealousy.

4. Taking responsibility means handling the Chatterbox (głos w głowie).

Chatterbox (negative voice) is making you a victim, commit yourself to replacing it with a loving (positive) voice.

5. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you "stuck".

Nie bez powodu jesteśmy "stuck" - są jakieś aspekty które należy znaleźć i zaakceptować albo "go ahead".

6. Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it.

Set your goals then go out and work toward them.

Figure out what kind of space you would like to live in.. then create it. It doesn't take a lot of money to create a peaceful, loving home for yourself.
Look around and see who you would love to include in circle of friends.. then pick up the phone and make plans to get together. Don't sit around waiting for them to call you.
Check out your body. Determine what you need to do to create what looks and feels healthy.. then make it happen.
Most of us do not "sculpt" our lives. We accept what comes our way.. then we gripe about it. Many of us spend our lives waiting - waiting for the perfect mate, waiting for the perfect job, waiting for perfect friends to come along. There is no need to wait for anyone to give you anything in your life. You have the power to create what you need.. Given commitment, clear goals and action, it's just a matter of time.

7. Taking responsibility means multitude of choices you have in any given situation.

In every situation there are at least thirty ways to change your point of view. Make this a game - the "change your point of view" game.

W skrócie:
1. Avoid casting blame on an external force for your bad feelingsabout life.
2. Avoid blaming yourself for not being in control. (you are doing the best you can)
3. Be aware where and when you are playing the victim role.
4. Familiarize yourself with your biggest enemy - the Chatterbox.
5. Figure out the "payoffs" that keep you stuck.
6. Determine what you want in life and act on it.
7. Be aware of many choices you have - in both actions and feelings - in any situation that comes your way.

Chapter 5. Polyanna rides again.

Na swojej drodze spotkasz wielu ludzi którym nie będzie podobał się Twój rozwój, Twoja zmiana przekonań, Twoje podejście. Fuck them with love :) " Not a shred of evidence exists that life is serious!" Go overboard and be outrageous until friends ask you what's going on. Really have fun with this.

You create your own reality.

Inspirational tapes, inpirational books.

Affirmations - I am creating everything I want, easily and effortlessly.

Positive quotes - "ships in harbor are safe, but that's not what ships are built for"

Outtalk your negativity! It's wonderful to go to bed loving yourself.

You will draw more and more positive people into your life. You will be healthier physically. You will be happy to be alive.

"I am doing it perfectly" - is a wonderful affirmation when the Chatterbox tries to tell you you've goofed.

Chapter 6. When they don't want you to grow.

It is incredibly important to your peace of mind and sense of power to have some kind of support group. You have to go out and create the kind of support system you want. Even if it is frightening, do it anyway!

Jak ktoś nie pozwala wam się rozwijać -> "I love you but I have to live my own life". End of story. No moans and groans.

Step into role of adult - the less you need someone's approval, the more you are able to love them.

Be your best friend - don't put yourself down.

Chapter 7. How to make a no-lose decision.

All you have to do to change your world is to change the way you think about it.

Przy podejmowaniu każdej decyzji, zamiast zastanawiać się co dobrego i co złego zyskamy i próbując przewidzieć przyszłość należy przyjąć, że -> nie liczą się zyski, liczy się to czego po drodze się nauczymy, liczą sie inne doświadczenia. Jak wybierzesz "złą" drogę to dowiesz się czegoś bardzo ważnego - czego nie lubisz.

Przed podjęciem decyzji:
1. I can't lose - regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. The world is a place for opportunity, and I look forward to the opportunities for learning and growing that either pathway gives me.
2. Talk to "right" people.
3. Establish yourself priorities - give yourself time really to think about what you want out of life. (don't worry - It is through confusion that you finally come to clarity)
4. Trust your impulses - go for it, there are no wrong or right decision, just different ones.
5. Lighten up. We live in a world where most people take themselves and their decisions very seriously. I have news for you. Nothing is that important. Honestly! If as a result of decision you make you lose some money, no problem - you learn to deal with losing money. If you lose a lover, no problem - you find another one. If you choose to divorce, no problem - you learn to handle living on your own. If you choose to marry, no problem - you learn to handle a new kind of sharing.
Start thinking about yourself as a lifetime student at a large university. Your curriculum is your total relationship with the world you live in, from moment you're born to the moment you die. Each ecperience is a valuable lesson to be learned. If you choose path A, you will learn one set of lessons. If you choose Path B you will learn a different set of lessons. Geology or geometry - just a different teacher and different books to read, different homework to do, different exams to take. It really doesn't matter. If you take path A, you get to taste the strawberries. If you take path B, you get to taste the blueberries. If you hate both strawberries and blueberries, you can find another path. The trick is simply to make whatever place you're in your educational forum and learn everything you can about yourself and the world around you. So - lighten up! Whatever happens as a result of your decision, you'll handle it!

After making decision:
1. Zapomnieć o oczekiwaniach.
2. Zaakceptować całkowitą odpowiedzialność za podjęcie decyzji.
3. Jeżeli nie działa, zmienić. Don't protect, correct.

Many people stay locked in unsatisfactory situations that no longer work for them because they've invested so much and it would be a shame not to continue. How illogical!

Why invest more, if it's no longer paying off? Remeber - the quality of your life is at stake!

The trick in life is not to worry about making a wrong decision; it's learning when to correct!

Inner clues - confusion, dissatisfaction.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes, be afraid of not making mistakes. If you are not making mistakes you are not growing and learning.

Chapter 8. How whole is your "whole life"?

Whole life = contribution, hobby, leisure, familly, alone time, personal growth, work, relationship, friends.

Należy oddać się każdej częsci a nie tylko relationship albo tylko work.

When you are at work, work full out, holding nothing back, when you are with your family, consciously be with them, 100%, when you are with friends, be there 100%.. and so on.

100% commitment and acting as if you count.

Chapter 9. Just nod head - say "yes"!

Say yes to your universe.

Whatever happens to you in your life, just nod your head, up and down, instead of shaking it side to side. Say yes instead of no.

Create value out of anything life can hand you.

You can't control the world but you can control reaction to it.

You can find reason and purpose in anything - if you open your mind to it. "let's see what good will come from this situation".

Chapter 10. Choosing love and trust.

Give - from a place of love rather than from a place of expectations.

Give away thanks - podziękuj ludziom za to co dla ciebie zrobili, czego cię nauczyli, nawet tym których nie lubisz. Jeśli nie możesz wprost to w myślach. Jeśli kogoś nie lubisz to skup się na rzeczach które cie nauczył i wybacz mu, każdemu.

We need to get rid of pain and anger before we can bring in love. When we hold negative feelings about people in our past, we carry those feelings to those of our present.

You count and your thanks count.

Give away information.

Give away praise.

You must become what you want to attract. Be the kinf of person you would want to surround yourself with.

Giving does not imply becoming doormat.

Give away time.

Volunteer.

Give away money.

Give away love.

Pozwólmy innym być kim są bez próby zmieniania ich.

To love is to be able to give.

Your life is abundant and you count.

Lack is only in the mind and it is not about money or things - it's about love.

If you see that your purpose in life is to give, then it's almost impossible to be conned.

Chapter 11. Filling the inner void.

Higher Self - place within which allows us to feel full-filled.

Affirmation, saying yes to universe, positive thinking, taking responsibility, no lose decisions, choosing love and trust, learning and give and more - open us to higher self.

Conscious mind słucha albo chatterboxa albo higher self. Od nas zależy. Wysyła do subcounscious a to z kolei komunikuje się z Universal Energy (np Bóg u osób wierzących). Universal Energy daje nam dokładnie to o co Subcounscious poprosi. Jeżeli sub. twierdzi "i am weak" U.E. daje nam słabość a jeżeli sub. twierdzi "i am strong" U.E. daje nam siłę. Można sprawić, żeby Universal Energy było po naszej stronie, należy zaufać Universal Energy.

Należy ufać intucji - jest to wtedy kiedy podświadomość coś wymyśli.

I can relax now and turn it over to my Subcounscious Mind and the universal energy out there. All the answers I need are within me. It is all happening perfectly. There is nothing to fear.

While you are telling these thruths, work on relaxing your body. If you continue to feed yourself these affirming words long enough, you will eventually notice a warm calm come over your body and your mind and you will feel safe. Each positive statement pulls you, like a magnet, closer to your source. You've come to the place where all is safe. You've let go of the outcome, and there is nothing to fear. ...



Chapter 12. There is plenty of time.

Trust your feelings.

Be patient.

Don't wait for it to take! Take it! Use it. Live it. Absorb it.

Say yes to your life. Participate. Move. Act. Write. Read. sign up. Take a stand.

Joy is the result of using our powers to their fullest, and for that reason, joy, not happiness, is the goal of life.